Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
