we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
