operation have a gay friend backfired
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
