Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize