Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
