i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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