Already got asked if we're dating
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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