Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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