Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
