is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
