3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
