i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
