Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
