Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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