He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Randomize
