Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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