yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
