i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
