i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
