i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You smell like stripper and shame
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Randomize
