I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
