seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
