I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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