Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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