and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
