another moral hangover. fuck.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
