We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
