You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
