In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
