You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
