I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize