Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
