Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
