If i come over, it means nothing
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
