I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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