woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
