You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize