Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
how drunk are you?
Several
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
