i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
