she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
