so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
