Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
