dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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