dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
