They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
