He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
