I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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