I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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