I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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