just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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