Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
