i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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