I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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