Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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