legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
