I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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