you turned your livingroom into a bong?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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