I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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