We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
porn star boner night. come get it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
