Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
