I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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