He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
