opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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