You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
