why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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